Aunt Millie's Garden: Block #4

It's not done yet, but I'm getting there! Here's the fourth block of Aunt Millie's Garden project. I call it "Windswept Flower."

The upper right quadrant is actually done. I need to add the centers to the rest of the flowers and the center medallion.

No offer, but lots of work done

No job offer yet. Like a dork, I carried my cell phone on me all day on Wednesday and Thursday at work, just in case I get the call.  Experience has taught me that human resources and organizational shenanigans take a lot more time than you think they should. I am not worried. Yet.

If I need to worry, then I need to get back to work on my contingency plan.

Interestingly, my boss was out of the office all last week and now, I interact less with the minion, and it was a nice week.

I had a very productive two days off so far. Chores done, errands run, and getting some work done on the charity quilts stash.  I also took time to play by making an adorable little fabric basket from my newest book, Zakka Sewing.  Look! Kawaii, desu ne? (cute, isn't it)?

My guild challenge quilt is completely basted - I need to decide how to quilt it now. The design of the top begs for modern/contemporary style quilting, but I haven't worked out the entire plan.

Charity Quilts is a happy, chaotic mess. The boxes contain dozens of semi-started projects, hundreds if precut squares, semi-organized categories, non-quilting-related ephemera, but what we need is focus. I don't think I can go through everything and pick the best projects. My strategy thus far is to pick a box at random, see what's in it, clean out the crap (if any), and build some projects from what I find. I have created two group projects.

First group project is a mystery quilt. I have the plan in mind, but I will parcel out portions of the project and put it together without letting the participants know the big picture. This will use up several dozen charm squares in red and blue.

Second group project will use up a bunch of squares cut from Curious George fabric. I made a double square-in-a-square pattern featuring the Curious George precut squares. I may nix this project if the rest of my committee thinks the block is too complicated - bias sewing can be tricky. Otherwise, I'll advertise this as an "intermediate" level block.

Hm, there's an idea - provide group projects at different skill levels. Neat-o.

Seems like the more fabric I work with, the happier I am.

That's all for now...

Stunned

I will get an offer the the Nursing Informatics job in the next day or two. They are working out the details. I am stunned.

Now what will I do? I must....trust...my...gut.  Take it or not?

Gut says yes.

Brain is scared.

Change is always scary.

Solstice

Today is the the longest day of the year, and for a child of the light, it is the day we live for. It looks like Mother Nature will smile upon the South Kansas City area with sunlight and clear skies.

Of course that could change in a matter of hours.  I'm staying hopeful.

Today is also the 25th anniversary of the church I attend. I am participating in the service and it will probably take up all morning. I hope I play clarinet well today. I couldn't attend either of the rehearsals and this is quite scary to perform without rehearsal!  Yipe!

Perhaps it is the mark of a professional, though.

Although I'm not. I'm an amateur with lots of studying behind me.

Someday I hope to travel far north and see what it is like to have no night time at all. Canada, Alaska, Iceland, Norway, Ireland, even - any of those could be fun.

Speaking of travel, my friend asked me to join her on a trip to Hawaii next year. I told her yes!!  We hope to go in February. No one ever asks me...I'm usually the one doing the asking.

Still way into my sewing the last several days. The Etsy Meetup party (on Friday evening) was a lot of fun and inspirational - see my pictures and write up on my commercial blog, rikrax.blogspot.com.  I've been pouring over the book I bought at the store - what will I make first?!?! I worked a lot on my NC State Quilt, and the top is nearly done. I'll post pictures soon. It's a Christmas gift for a friend....and I don't think she reads my blog so this shouldn't spoil the surprise.

Becoming an online personality...

I started another blog. It's just around the corner: rikrax.blogspot.com.  I am planning to use that blog to become a presence online. I want to promote my Etsy store, but also become an online resource for specific kinds of crafting. Sure, there are plenty of crafting websites out there. But, I want to bring my unique perspective to the world.

This is all still play for me. I wonder if I can make some money at it? I wonder if I can become valuable to a population of readers?  Wonder what it will feel like to be successful at it? 

Cool.

I'm experimenting with becoming my own brand, as was presented at the O You! conference in Kansas City in October last year. Martha Beck talked extensively about this idea, and about finding the intersect of all of your passions and making it work for your life, either as career or mission. Either way, these things are your passion and to achieve a deeply satisfying life, you must live them.

The new blog is for playing with design, art, craft, opinion, recommendation, review. It is to be focused. It is my public persona.

I am still attached to this blog, though. I want my therapy blog, too. Maybe some day I'll have to take it down, to protect the public image. After all, I've written some intensely personal things here, not all of it complimentary, and certain people could figure out about whom I have written. 

We'll see. The Internet is vast; let's see how much of a niche I can occupy.

Are you kidding me?

My first week of non-charging, and yesterday was the first such Friday. Fridays are usually hellish, with 30 some patients scheduled for 22 beds, usually with 7 or 8 patients staying over from the previous day. All the labs are up and running with 2 EP docs and 3 cath labs.

Of course, when Superior Charge Nurse was in charge today, we had 10-12 patients scheduled and only 3 over nighters.   Plus, we were fully staffed and the Minion had one of her many vacation days. Only 2 labs running.

What the f***?

Life is so unfair. Even *I* can handle that kind of day.

I am an idiot. And when push comes to shove, I need to be a lowly nothing. Whenever I try to be something more at work, I bump up against my own incompetence and end up frustrated and embarrassed. The fact is, no organization has been able to channel my gifts, and I have not been able to apply my gifts and skills in a way that pleases an organization. I do not want to study politics. I want to do what's right.

Therein lies the conflict.

Therefore, the only thing that will keep me employed and keep me from going insane on the job is to keep humble. No more ambition.

Remember why you became a nurse. Not to become a leader. Merely to serve.

In that regard, I don't think karma will allow me to get the IT job.

What's next?

Why haven't I posted?

It's been a difficult 2 weeks. My job. I finally had my melt down at work...I knew it was coming, but didn't know how to divert it without being a total asshole.

It wasn't that dramatic to the outside eye. I went to the breakroom and sobbed for about 20 minutes. Then I waited another 20 minutes to try to look normal again (to let the redness and puffiness of my eyes recede). Then I went to the boss and told her I didn't want to be the charge nurse any more.

She agreed and I'm done with charging. I feel like a quitter, but the pressure and stress was making me nuts. Snide comments, anger, negative attitude, barely able to talk politely to anyone. That is not why I work, to become a mean girl. If that's the end of my potential for success there, so be it. Who cares. I work for me and my joy.

On to my second interview with that semi-IT job today. We'll see what happens.