On Feminism

I was a child of the late 60s and 70s. I was raised in a time of protest and a time of unpopular war. I was raised with feminism - and being raised by strong women further encouraged my interest in feminism. Since, in my view, the gender wars were completed during the era of protest, I was convinced that the equality between the genders was solved and we were equal and society had evolved to a new level.

Imagine my surprise when I became an adult and learned that this just wasn't so!

Imagine my surprise when I found out, in college, that when I made out with a guy, I had been the "slut" and he had "scored?"

At work, why was I given all the writing assignments?? ("You take the minutes, OK, Lauren?") Why didn't I get to design the system architecture and the database?

When I tried to refer to my "boyfriend" as my "lover" (since "boyfriend" was such a childish, antiquated label), I sounded like a 'ho.

Where was all this progress, after all? And why did the protest die down? I thought it was because we'd "won." No, apparently not. I think it died down because the oppression got smarter and attacked feminism from other, more sneaky and covert means. It slowly changed society's norms to undermine the arguments of the feminists. And, it worked.

Some examples are (1) how reproductive rights became ugly and murderous; (2) how women are frequently frightened by the media that if they don't hurry up and have children now, they may never have children!! How horrendous that would be... every couple of months there's a new article or study or something that teaches us that our chance to have babies is perilously low!! Your fertility is waning, don't waste it! You only have so much time to fulfill yourself, so stop your career (and was it really that important, anyway?), and get on the mommy track.

Once you're on the mommy track, don't even think about getting back on the career track. Sure, you can work, but don't expect power - you've lost all those years, lost your edge - we know where your real priorities are, now, with a family. We can't trust you with responsibility or power.

If you didn't get on the Mommy track, we know you really wanted to, deep down. You're a bitter unfulfilled woman, aren't you? Can't keep your mind on work, huh?

If you're not a Mom, then you must be some kind of she-male. Or a dyke. What in the heck do we do with this oddity of nature? Marginalize her, but use her when it's advantageous, I guess....

Ahem.

Let me collect my thoughts. I got a bit carried away.

I am encouraged to see that feminism is not completely dead. That is my point in writing this post. Through the Very Short List I found the work of Jennifer Fox. I am captivated by her blog, so much so, in fact, that I added to my list, over there on the left. I want to read more of it. I am dying to see her movie. Her thoughts on the democratic race are much in line with mine...only she had more courage in her posting. The links to the other blogs on her sight lead to more intriguing places.

I've been a feminist for years. I am not a very vocal one because that is not in my nature (I'm not uber vocal about my Christianity, my vegetarianism, or my liberalism, either). I am so glad to see I am not alone.