I am off work today. I feel a little sheepish after yesterday's post. I did call in early this morning.
During band rehearsal yesterday I had a short bout of indigestion (a.k.a heartburn). It happens from time to time; I wouldn't classify it as GERD, since it happens maybe once every 6 months. When I got home, I took Zantac and some Tums. I was OK when I went to bed, but it didn't last long. It kept me up til about 1:30. I can't work a 12 hour shift on only 3 hours of sleep!! And my gut hurt.
I finally did get to sleep, woke up in the morning and most symptoms were gone.
So here I am at home, feeling tired and embarrassed.
It's interesting that I feel compelled to write about it in this blog. I feel I must justify my decision. Other people don't have such guilty feelings when they call in sick. Other people call in sick all the time. Me, I need to be just short of unconscious before I consider it worthy of missing work. As a result, I have gone to work on days that I really shouldn't have.
Even though I'm an adult, one who has gone through much therapy, I think the reason I behave this way is that I was criticized and judged everywhere, while I grew up. I was not credible. I didn't know how I felt - or at least that's the message I received. So I don't innately trust how I feel.
Bit by bit, I get over this and learn to trust myself. I should be well actualized by the time I'm in my 70s.
It is nice to have a day off though.
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