A Cross Post: Life Taking an Expected Turn

This was also posted on my other blog, Rikrax.blogspot.com. I think I'll keep the topic here. Rikrax is much more lighthearted. Here, I can be as manic as I care to be.


My father, a widower less than a year, has deteriorating health. He has some neurological dysfunction and I am steeling myself for a disappointing diagnosis. The fact is we don't have a clear diagnosis, and this is common for neurological problems ("Parkinsonian symptoms and possibly early dementia"). There is another test to be done and this tests may show that a (relatively) simple surgery can help his situation, maybe even reverse some of the symptoms! On the other hand, the test may show that surgery would not help; or, it would only help some with certain symptoms but not all. In those cases, we will have to get through one day at a time.

My Dad lives in Virginia. There is no family nearby. His neurological dysfunction is physical and mental - he is increasingly forgetful and I question his judgment at times. He is stiff, slow, arthritic. The neurologist said he shouldn't drive, but of course, he lives alone in a house at the end of a long semi-country street. Not being able to drive would almost completely isolate him, and as an introvert with neurological dysfunction, he is not gregarious. That means, few friends (yes, a few good ones), and he wouldn't dream of asking anyone to help. In his mind, there is no need to ask for help, anyway.

So....what to do?

I am here in Virginia for the weekend. Two days ago, I went to the neurologist with Dad - to hear the results from some recent testing was the motivation for coming here. I am also working on the house and yard. It's in decent shape but there are signs of neglect here and there. Dad does not like to do yard work, so the yard is rather sloppy. Thankfully, he has a yard service to mow the lawn, trim, and edge. The house is fairly clean, and thankfully, he has a maid service to come in and clean up.  There is (mostly) fresh food in the house and Dad's eating well.

It is not a crisis yet. Now is the time to set a direction and some goals, including selling the house, moving Dad to a retirement community, and reducing the driving. Hence, I'm here to clean out part of the house, clean up the yard and look for home maintenance things that will prep the house for sale.

Getting Dad to understand and agree will be the harder challenge.