The Thoughtful Quilter has a few thoughts...

It has been 2 weeks since I went to NJ to have the second, and final, memorial service for my mother. It went amazingly well, it was a wonderful thing to do, it was great to see old friends from the past, etc etc but it cast a gray cloud over everything again. It's not as bad as the first time, thankfully, but it's feeling like I regressed.

This is normal and I understand that, but I don't really like it.

For the first time since Mom died, I have really felt a longing to talk with her. I feel a tension or discomfort that is soothed by comforting patterns from my past. But I can't get that comfort, it's over, it's gone.

This journey of grief is slow and plodding. It does remind me that I had a good relationship with Mom and I am so lucky for that.

I sense I am in the process of changing in some way. Not sure what the result will be - it's not intentional as some of my changes have been in the past. It will be curious to see how these next 2-3 years play out.

Now, to state a few things I am thankful for:

• Normal mammogram results
• A good job where I get lots of kudos
• General good health
• Two dogs that are loads of fun