When I first heard about the series, I didn't think I'd like it. My husband bought it on DVD after it was over and we went through the episodes sequentially. I was smitten. This show spoke to me, even though I was married.
Why? What was it about this presentation of the female milieu that touched me so?
It was very much like my life, I guess. I married relatively "late" - I was 31. I was financially independent and quite well off, so I completely understood the independent life. I was far from my family and had to find support and community from friends instead. I had gay friends. And I dated many guys similar to those depicted in the show.
In fact, I think I ended up marrying a "Harry." I dated a "Berger" who was both intrigued and frightened of my independence and success. That ended similarly. There's one episode of Sex and the City called "The Valley of Twenty-Something Guys" - I went there too! Was about as successful as Carrie was there, too... I dated an "addicted" guy like the recovering alcoholic in one episode. I dated a terrific guy that was more in love with me than I was with him, and I wished I could be right for him. I tried; it didn't fit.
I knew what it was like to be the odd single out when everyone else got married. It's similar now - I'm the odd childless out when everyone else is going to soccer games and ballet recitals. I knew what it was like to be the single one at the funeral, like Miranda when her mother died.
I struggled with intimacy like the characters did. I was somewhat sexually liberated like the characters - one criticism I have of the show is that there were few consequences for the free sex enjoyed by the characters. No one gets AIDS or herpes, and the show in which Miranda contemplates an abortion only mentions abortions of the characters in the past. Yeah, one infection of crabs, but that was treated comically and easily fixed.
Which kind of implies that if you're smart enough you don't have these consequences. In my life, this is true, but I don't think it's always the case. And like I said, I wasn't quite so "free" sexually as these characters. I loved deeply. I screwed up relationships. I experiences some really strange encounters with men. And I did some dangerous things at times. Ah youth. That's what it's for.
Back to the movie.
As a thoughtful person, I couldn't help but wonder a few things. (warning - may be spoilers)
- If Carrie and John have been together so long, why did she completely turn her back on him when he got cold feet for the wedding? He realized what he was doing and came back, in dramatic fashion. Why didn't she have some underlying trust? That's what you build in a long term relationship.
- I had a hard time believing Steve really would have sex with someone else, despite the difficult state of his marriage to Miranda. He knew what she was like. I just can't see that loyal-puppy-dog guy getting himself into a situation where sex with another woman was even possible.
- And, Miranda immediately turned her back on him and left. Given the state of their marriage, such a thing can happen. Why didn't she even consider forgiveness until much later?
- Why did John even get cold feet? He knew what was going on with the wedding. He knew how Carrie was.
- Don't any of these characters have any family? Moms, Dads, sisters, brothers, cousins...?
Most of this was drama for the movie - we needed an excuse to get the girls all back together. I thought that the lesson of forgiveness was nicely woven into the plot among several characters. It was nice to see Charlotte become pregnant. I was glad everyone got back together. And I'm also glad the story had the characters growing up. When I watch the older episodes, the characters' maturity is much younger. This is as life is - satisfying.
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