On Christmas
Ever wonder what child-free people do for Christmas? We are out there. We aren't really to be pitied about it - despite the mainstream media's emphasis on family, the child's wonder at the holiday, toys, and tradition passed from generation to generation, adults without children celebrate in as many ways as there are people. There is a whole world out there for adults outside the so-called traditional lifestyle. And it's pretty good.
We don't just sit around lonely and bored, longing for the Norman Rockwell story. In fact, some of the stories I hear about the traditional family get togethers are just horrific. Drama, old conflicts brought up, alcoholic uncles, unrealistic expectations, etc. etc. Oh please.
Some of us work. This year it's my turn and I will work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (but only a half day is needed on Christmas day). People don't stop having heart attacks, going into labor, developing stomach ulcers, and succumbing to diabetic ketoacidosis, just because it's Christmas Eve. Someday, it may be you. Thank goodness we are there.
Some of us focus on the religious aspect of the season. As I get older and learn more about the history of the church, the less I believe that 12/25 actually was Jesus's birthday. Nevertheless, I think it is important to mark this event and reflect on the religious significance of this single, profound human life. December 25 is as good as any day to pick for it, I suppose. I am fascinated by the idea that God came to us as a baby, a common person, a poor person, even. In my mind, that makes sense. In worldly logic, it does not make sense. Such is the mystery.
I really like the religious music of the season, too. There's some beautiful stuff out there.
Some of us visit with family and enjoy our relatives. Some of us provide company and friendship for older relatives in addition to younger ones. You know, throughout history there has been a tradition of the unmarried aunt or widow in the family. Such women have always been important to families. I don't know so much about the single men, though. Societies regard them with suspicion, I guess.
Some people do have to confront the depression and frustration of being outside the mainstream.
Others take the day to do something they enjoy. Still others relish the unusual situation of life slowed down, for one (or two) days a year.
I don't mention to people what I do on the holidays to my friends and colleagues all that much anymore. Sometimes I just use vague terms, then refocus the conversation on them. I don't want to have to defend what I do or deal with a last minute invitation to join their family. (Ugh. That's awkward...). If the event had been planned to include me, hey, no problem. It's fun to see how others celebrate.
I don't begrudge society for promoting a mainstream image. It is necessary to keep our society going, to keep people to conform to the prescribed path in life, to procreate, to buy things, to establish traditions. It is what it is. If everyone were like me, we'd all be gone in a generation. I simply support approaching diversity with compassion.
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