Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Downside of Pet Ownership

Riley, my 13 year old pup, is ill. He has a brain tumor and has been having seizures for about 6-7 weeks. After the first one, it became a once-a-day event, in the evening, whenever he went outside. We controlled it by not letting him outside after 7:30pm.

Now the seizures happen in the mornings when we let him outside, and we can't avoid letting him out then. After a night in the crate, he has to go out to pee. So, he has his seizure then he recovers. I make sure he doesn't hurt himself, or make too much of a mess, and I pet his writhing body, soothing him and telling him to breathe. He probably doesn't even know I'm there. The seizure ends, and he emerges, stunned and confused. It takes a while to recover completely, and as he recovers, he is little manic and he's voraciously hungry and thirsty. 

Some strange behaviors have started. He bit me one morning this week, and I'm certain he didn't know what he was doing at the time. He was in his manic phase, looking for something to eat and he was tasting everything nearby, just in case it was food. My big toe must have looked like a piece of food on the floor, so he went for it. 

Didn't break my skin, but it was a painful pinch.

Another new behavior is that he's howling. He only ever rarely howled throughout his life. Now, he points his nose up in the air, purses his lips, and lets out a soft, low "Ooooooooh."  He looks adorable in the coyote pose...but it's troubling. The tumor is probably stimulating his ancient wolf brain, and he feels the urge to call the pack.  Is he lonely? Is he hurting or frightened? Does he even know why he does it?  It's a mystery.

I hope he's not in pain. He doesn't seem to be - his spirits are good when he's not having a seizure.  

It's hard when it's the sweet dogs. Again, I just hope it's more clear than it is now when it's time to make the inevitable decision to euthanize.



Saturday, August 11, 2012

Anxiety - Underlying and Insidious

arkstock.com
I can always tell when the anxiety is getting bad. My dreams get extremely strange or violent. Usually I am not committing the violence; instead, it is happening around me. My husband notices because I sleep very deeply and either snore or breathe very deeply, loudly, and heavily.

The source of the anxiety this week is my work. I am providing at-elbow support for physicians as part of a go-live of the electronic EMR in certain areas of the hospital. Technically, it isn't the hospital, it's the group of physicians who have admitting privileges at the hospital and their associated clinics.

Doctors are a strange breed of human being. Our society raises them in such a way that encourages antisocial behavior in the workplace.


Disclaimer

Before every doctor who has social skills and does, in fact, behave like a grown-up in their professional milieu takes offense - get over yourselves. You know this type of attitude and behavior is prevalent in your field. It's certainly prevalent in other high-value fields where people think they are deserving of special treatment (or normal treatment, as they see it). You know, like politicians, celebrities, etc.


Medical Office Culture

I don't think it's right to hire people whose job it is to make sure you don't get upset and you are happy. I don't understand why people tolerate this kind of work, especially thoughtful intelligent people. I don't understand why nurses minimize their independent practice of nursing to the emotional and logistical coddling of a physician.

No, I'm not moving to a medical office any time soon. I doubt they would hire me, anyway.


U.S. Medical System

arkstock.com
The defense of this behavior is the economic reality of our medical system in the US. The physician is the money maker. Physicians hire support people so they can maximize their hours billable at the maximum rate. Therefore, it is fiscal irresponsibility to have a doctor do such a "menial" task as fax a prescription refill to a patient's pharmacy. Or so they say.

It's a better to hire a secretary for this.

But our system places responsibility for the decision to prescribe on the physician, and it is illegal for their support staff to prescribe. We've worked out an elaborate proxy system that the physician minimizes the amount of time considering the prescription. In other words, the person who really makes the decision whether a prescription can be refilled is the medical assistant, the physician's assistant, the professional nurse, or the practical nurse, and in some cases, the secretary (not medically trained). They do all the logistics so the pharmacy can dispense. The physician gives her stamp of approval at a later time, maybe in some cases, after the med has already been dispensed.

Don't get me wrong. These people are thoughtful and through their experience working in the field, they develop an understanding of the conditions, the course of illnesses, and standard treatment protocols, and they know the patients. Workers who learn in this manner are effectively apprentices. However, we don't do apprenticeships in the USA, we do university degrees and certifications.

That's the dichotomy that causes me so much disdain for physicians. They expect their staff to be smart and trustworthy and loyal, but the second they overstep their bounds, they thump the staff person on the head with "you're not the professional here." Bullshit. The trust must go both ways, or the physician should do this stuff themselves, and actually take care of the patient holistically.


American Royalty

google.com
Back to the antisocial part. Maybe what bugs me about this is that when I argue that my time is valuable and high dollar value, that is scoffed at because we all must pitch in.

Doctors don't have to pitch in.

The physicians received some pretty damn expensive at elbow support from me. I am an expert at analysis, design specifications, and strategic development of information systems. And I am sitting around waiting for them to verbally abuse the organizational changes that force them to change their work habits. Who is the thing you can yell at? Me, the messenger....I receive the vitriol.

What really makes me angry and gives me stress is that I must accept this castigation about a system that I had no involvement in designing or building. I defend decisions I did not make and in many cases do not fully understand. Furthermore, I have limited power in changing the system to coddle the physician.

When the physicians understand the whys and wherefores behind the organizational changes it's not bad at all. When they are the spoiled children who whine when they don't get their way, it's hellish because I cannot treat them as the over indulged, princes they act like.

In my observation, it's mostly the men that act this way. The women tend to be a little more team-oriented.  Yes, yes, there are exceptions on both sides of the argument. I'm merely commenting on my experience.

And what really twists the knife for me is that what I know about the software we're using, it's so freakin' physician-focused that I don't know why they complain about anything! The rest of the staff is (metaphorically) using the system in Hebrew, on a monochromatic CRT screen, with one arm tied behind their backs and a boxing glove on their remaining one hand, to make the physician workflow work "effortlessly," and the physicians have the balls to bitch about how awful the system is?

My God! The system doesn't read my mind. It only does what I told it to do. It must be crap!

Spoiled. Little appreciation or understanding of the bigger picture and the role of the team that got them to that point.

But when they receive the check from the government for Meaningful Use achievements, they will pat themselves on the back to say what a great job they've done.  When they publish the research based on data that they merely extracted from the database in a single query in 2 hours, they will receive accolades on how clever they are.

I have a lot more to say to work out this anxiety.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Mea Culpa

I need to confess - I left the lawn sprinkler on over night. I have a very happy spot of grass in the back yard, but it's such a waste. And I have no idea how much money that cost. It's going to be an ugly water bill.

Since I forgot, maybe it's an indication of trying to do too much?


Saturday, July 14, 2012

Community Garden

I am practicing embedding a video in a web page for the community garden I belong to. I needed a real web page to play with so I thought I'd use this one.


I lease a plot here for charity. A group from my church grows veggies to donate to a food pantry, and I am leader. It is crazy fun to do - at first you start with a blank plot and you work it. You plant some seeds and go away...then magically they sprout and that's a thrill!  Then they grow into little plants - how did that happen? Then suddenly they're giant plants! Then fruits start to appear - just like you find in the grocery store, but no, I actually grew them! Sorcery, pure sorcery.

I'm not in the video, but my good friend Bev is. How does it look?

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Summertime....

It's no secret I prefer warm weather and longer days. Waking up after the sun is up, working out in the yard or walking the dog after dinner are the pleasures only summer time can afford. I feel so darn healthy! I work in the yard and have a good sweat. I drink lots of water. Vegetables and fruits are in season, fresh, and affordable. Color. Sunlight is abundant - I can do what I need to do and even have time for laziness, with light to spare.

Home Grown Veggies
When I lived in Rochester, NY (briefly) I learned how important this is to me. I was seriously depressed in the fall-and the winter-and the spring. Going to Florida for a vacation in February on year literally blew. my. mind.  That was the beginning of the end of living in Rochester. There are places - in my own country -  where you can wear shorts....in February. Who knew?

But now, we are past the solstice and the days insidiously get shorter. We're having too much fun to notice right now, but it's happening. Kind of like life, now that I think about it.


Saturday, June 30, 2012

Shopping at Sears in the 1970s

Here is a story from my childhood. I was snacking on nuts and it came to mind.

Sears was popular when I was a child. Our family shopped there frequently, although now, I can't remember exactly where our Sears was. Paramus (NJ) maybe? I think it was in a mall; and this was before malls became so popular. We ordered from their catalog and we'd go to the store to pick up our order. They had retail, too. It was a frequent family outing for us on a Friday night. 

Our Sears had a candy counter. It was an old fashioned counter with a glass cabinet that sold candy by the pound. The candy was not individually wrapped or branded - you couldn't find M&Ms or Twizzler's at the candy counter. It had trays of unwrapped candy, and you told the salesperson how much you wanted. She scooped it up for you, put it in little white paper bag, and weighed it. 

Mom and Dad liked to buy a treat or two when we were at Sears on the way out after all the shopping was done. Something to snack on while we waited for Mom to finish up, or on the drive home. Mom liked "Bridge Mix" and salted cashews. You don't see Bridge Mix sold much any more. For those who don't remember, Bridge Mix is an assortment of chocolate covered goodies. The mix included nougats, several kinds of nuts, raisins, caramels, and the like. Dad liked the Bridge Mix, too. In the later years, there was a new selection: "mint lentils." They were a favorite, also. 

Mom liked her cashews. She would ooh and ahh over the salty toasty nuts and tell my sister and me how delicious they were. I thought they were OK but certainly not as good as peanuts to my grade-school palate. Her swooning inevitably coaxed me to try a few, and then I ended up wondering what all the fuss was about. 

Bridge Mix was also OK. I liked the raisins, peanuts, and caramels, but it was an awfully big risk when choosing a piece.  The pieces were thickly covered with dark or milk chocolate so it wasn't easy to tell what was inside. Each piece was roughly the same size, maybe 1/2 an inch in diameter or so. You could end up with that awful crumbly white stuff inside, or even licorice (ewww!). Mom and Dad wouldn't let us put it back! (As a grown up, I now know why....yuk). As a consolation, I would suck off the chocolate and get rid of the filling if a bad choice was made. 

Once in a while, Mom or Dad would buy nonpareils for my sister and me. Those were our absolute favorites. Milk chocolate with candy sprinkles on top. Crunchy if you bit them, creamy if you sucked on them. 

Today, my tastes have changed. Bridge mix is hard to be found - the only one widely available is Brachs, and they use inferior chocolate. Not worth the calories. Cashews are a delight, almost swoon-worthy to the adult me! And nonpareils are still a favorite, if the chocolate is good quality. 

Sears back then (and many other larger stores) were true "department stores." They offered a wider variety of products. I guess back then, they didn't analyze the numbers as closely and trim off the low-profit and low-volume departments. There might have even been a little more room for sentiment - the boss liked the candy counter, so it stayed. 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Holy Cannoli!

This post has nothing to do with Cannoli...

We picked 62 carrots on Sunday night - almost 8 lbs of carrots! We found two peppers ready, and trimmed the top of the basil.  The carrots were amazing - some were picture perfect:




Some were kinda gnarly:


And then there were these two. I call them 'Adam and Eve....'


In all, it was a satisfying harvest. We even inspired another gardener who was there harvesting to let us glean her bean plantings. We ended up with a pound and a half of fresh green beans. 

I hope the people who received these vegetables enjoyed them and appreciated them ad were blessed by them.