The Downside of Pet Ownership

Riley, my 13 year old pup, is ill. He has a brain tumor and has been having seizures for about 6-7 weeks. After the first one, it became a once-a-day event, in the evening, whenever he went outside. We controlled it by not letting him outside after 7:30pm.

Now the seizures happen in the mornings when we let him outside, and we can't avoid letting him out then. After a night in the crate, he has to go out to pee. So, he has his seizure then he recovers. I make sure he doesn't hurt himself, or make too much of a mess, and I pet his writhing body, soothing him and telling him to breathe. He probably doesn't even know I'm there. The seizure ends, and he emerges, stunned and confused. It takes a while to recover completely, and as he recovers, he is little manic and he's voraciously hungry and thirsty. 

Some strange behaviors have started. He bit me one morning this week, and I'm certain he didn't know what he was doing at the time. He was in his manic phase, looking for something to eat and he was tasting everything nearby, just in case it was food. My big toe must have looked like a piece of food on the floor, so he went for it. 

Didn't break my skin, but it was a painful pinch.

Another new behavior is that he's howling. He only ever rarely howled throughout his life. Now, he points his nose up in the air, purses his lips, and lets out a soft, low "Ooooooooh."  He looks adorable in the coyote pose...but it's troubling. The tumor is probably stimulating his ancient wolf brain, and he feels the urge to call the pack.  Is he lonely? Is he hurting or frightened? Does he even know why he does it?  It's a mystery.

I hope he's not in pain. He doesn't seem to be - his spirits are good when he's not having a seizure.  

It's hard when it's the sweet dogs. Again, I just hope it's more clear than it is now when it's time to make the inevitable decision to euthanize.