Back in the Pit

I am in the Pit.

This time, I have reason. We had to put Riley down last week. His seizures got much worse and it was time. We made the decision quickly after two nights of consecutive seizures in which he got hurt from the violent spasms. He banged up against his crate enough to bloody his nose and gums.

I don't have regrets. He was mostly gone, anyway - a mere shadow of his personality. He had a good life with people who loved him, who invested time and money into him,.

He came with us from North Carolina to Kansas when we moved. He was a companion/visiting dog for a little while. He liked to have a job and was so proud whenever he had his saddle bags strapped on, meaning he had work to do. He was a fierce protector. He loved a ride in the car and would grin merrily in the car the whole way, wherever we were going. He knew how to "sing" and he learned how to beg, how to lie down, how to "grovel," and how to "pray."  At times, he looked like a little teddy bear with his fluffy head and perked up ears.

It's just so sad. But nothing is forever and we have no choice but to accept.